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PREGNANCY AND THE PAIN OF MISCARRIAGE

Question #1: "I have had 4 miscarriages and 1 tubal pregnancy. I have been married for 8 years, and have no children. I very desperately want to have my own children, but it seems impossible and I have a lot of fear in my mind of getting pregnant, fearing the same things will happen again. How can I change this fear? And the second thing is that whenever I think of something, the opposite seems to happen, therefore I prefer being very negative in life. Can you help me understand why this is happening to me?"

Psychic Advice : I can feel your pain and your intense fear, and I am sorry to hear of your struggle and the trauma of your ectopic pregnancy. Pregnancy is a state of being, but it is also about a state of mind - in fact, it is a state of mind, body and spirit. People think about wanting a baby and having a child, but often they do not take into consideration the magnitude of all the aspects involved. I am not referring to diaper changes and sleepless nights, or saving for a college education - I am speaking about the spiritual aspect of bringing another soul into earthly existence.

When you call forth a child, you are calling for a great spirit to come to be embodied on Earth. Often, this is a spirit who has been to Earth many times before, and who probably knows you quite well through shared experiences in past lives. These past karmic experiences can bond you together for lifetimes - both from positive, loving experiences, and also from negative, painful ones. If that being has had a lot of painful experiences on Earth, it may be afraid to come back, and so part of this issue with repeated miscarriage may be because this soul is afraid to be born, and is backing out repeatedly.

This soul is also encountering your great fear of loss during pregnancy, which is making matters worse. A fetus feels everything that the mother feels, and these emotions are amplified and magnified a hundred fold. These emotions hit the baby in waves of energy, which either cause the baby to feel loved, comforted, safe and peaceful, or restless, trapped and afraid. It is natural to feel afraid during pregnancy, and it seems that other people cannot resist telling a pregnant woman all kinds of horror stories and things to worry about, but fear does not create an environment that supports life, health and well-being, either for you or your baby. The more peaceful and calm you can remain before, during and after your pregnancy, the better for everyone concerned.

Your desperate desire to have a child is causing a great deal of stress and anxiety for you, for the baby, for your husband, and probably for everyone around you. It is understandable that you feel this way, but it is not helping anything at all. Often, people who have difficulty conceiving even though there are no fertility issues have feelings of desperation, of wanting to have a baby so much that it is actually pushing it away. The feeling of desperate desire creates tremendous stress and anxiety, which releases chemicals in the body that attack healthy cells and are not life-promoting. These emotions also create energy waves that are very painful and detrimental for all who experience them, especially for a tiny fetus.

You must allow yourself to relax as much as possible about the whole situation. I realize that this may be easier said than done, but it is key to having a positive outcome. Many people who are focused on conceiving a child become obsessed with the biochemistry and forget that creating a child is an act of love. It is really meant to be about two people loving each other and sharing that love so much that their love creates a spark of life that becomes embodied in your child. The energy with which you conceive a child affects that child profoundly for its entire life.

Let this be about connecting with your husband in love, in peace, and in joy, rather than in fear, anxiety and desperation. If you were a great soul wanting to come into Earth existence, which energy would you rather experience? You see, a spirit often spends years "hanging around" its prospective parents before choosing to come through, making sure that the environment is right for carrying out its life purpose, and for learning, growing and evolving through Earth experiences. This spirit then looks for the right timing to come through where the circumstances are ideal to support its growth and intentions. When the timing is right, that soul then waits for the energy to be at the right frequency to nurture it.

Imagine for a moment what it is like to be a great spirit choosing to come to Earth (this should not be difficult to imagine as you were once in this position not so long ago). You are a great and vast spirit looking for the person and people who will love you and support you to have the experiences you need to have, people whom you want to love and help to heal, people with whom you can grow and evolve, people who are going to ideally keep you safe. Now that you have found them, you are waiting for the right timing and the right energies to be aligned. You can feel how much they want you, but you can also feel their fear and anxiety, which causes you to feel fear and anxiety. You are an old soul and you've been through this experience many times before - you know what it entails: coming into a cramped space, being affected by every thought, every emotion, every morsel of food that your mother experiences, and you are completely helpless. The only way out is painful and frightening, both for you and for the mother that you have grown to love. But that is just the beginning, because for the next several years, you are completely dependent, completely helpless and relying on others to love you, nurture you and keep you safe. Now, if you were a great soul making this decision, can you see how you might have second thoughts, particularly if the pregnancy is fraught with fear and anxiety?

Pregnancy is first about a spiritual bond between the soul of the "child" and the soul of the mother, then there is the emotional bond between them in the womb, and finally the physical bond. The issues that relate to miscarriage are rarely solely physical in nature. On the spiritual level, miscarriage can occur because a soul may be trying out the experience of coming into the body, testing the waters, so to speak. Sometimes a soul goes though miscarriage or abortion for karmic reasons, for the growth and evolution its soul, or for that of the mother, because miscarriage can be a tremendous trauma that promotes profound growth for the heart and soul through pain. Sometimes miscarriage occurs in order for a soul to complete a bit of unfinished business from a prior life without having to come fully into another incarnation. On the emotional level, if the mother is filled with fear and anxiety, this creates tension and contraction in the body and restricts blood flow, which makes the womb an even more cramped and unpleasant place to be. Also, stress causes a person to breathe shallowly, so the baby may not be receiving enough oxygen, which is why it is so important for you to relax and breathe. If the emotions during pregnancy are toxic and not conducive to a healthy existence, the soul may decide to leave and wait for another opportunity, which is part of what is happening in your case.

The soul that is trying to come through you repeatedly is just as frightened and anxious as you are, perhaps even more so. You must relax and make your body and your womb an inviting, safe, loving and comfortable place to live in. This is a partnership between you, your husband, and the baby that is trying very hard to come to you - it is going to require a team effort of love, support, patience, and above all, peace. I would suggest that you start talking to this great spirit, that you visualize it in your mind, and that you get to know each other and feel safe with each other. I would suggest that you visualize this spirit coming into your body, see yourself being pregnant and carrying this baby peacefully and joyfully to term, feeling it grow and come to life in your womb. See yourself giving birth to a healthy baby whom you love dearly and are profoundly connected to, and see yourself holding this baby in your arms in peace, joy, celebration and fulfillment. Repeat this visualization over and over again, especially whenever you have doubt or fear.

You may be afraid to think these thoughts because you say you have had a tendency to attract the opposite of what you think about. You have come to hope for the best and expect the worst in life because of a repeated pattern of disappointments - the question is which came first, the disappointment, or the expectation of it? Negativity is a very powerful force. There are people who use anger and negativity to get what they want - like yelling at slot machines to win a jackpot. This works for some people, but not because of the negativity itself, but because of the intensity of emotion. Emotion creates a strong force of attraction that is magnetic. In the past, you have been thinking of what you desired, but you have been resonating at the frequency of fear of not getting it, or of losing it, and it has been your fear that is attracting your experiences to you. Let the emotions of love, peace and joy influence and guide your thoughts, and let those energies draw your experiences to you from now on.

Remember that having a child is an expression of love between you and your husband - it is the love that both of you desire to share and expand. This is not just about you wanting a baby, this is about what you have to offer to a child, and also about what you are willing to learn and receive from this child. Allow yourself to breathe deeply, to relax and let go of the past so you can open to enjoy the present and the future. Connect to your husband in love, enjoy being with him and enjoy yourself. Let that child be born of joy, not of fear, and welcome this child of love into your heart, into your body, and into this world.

Question #2: "After 2 healthy children and 3 miscarriages in a row, will I have another baby? Will I be able to carry to term and if so, which complications should I look for? What could be the problem that I'm having?"

PSYCHIC ADVICE: This issue is also an emotional one. First, allow yourself to feel the full gratitude for the beautiful children that you have, to feel the love that you have for them and to receive the love that they have for you. Allow yourself to feel that your life is full and fulfilling right now, and to count all of your blessings, rather than focusing on what is missing, or on filling a hole. You must first become whole unto yourself, and recognize the wholeness of your life in order to create the space of love for another to come through.

Miscarriage is a very painful process on all levels, and one that creates a profound sense of grief and loss that pervades the body, mind, heart and soul. I would suggest that you allow yourself to grieve your loss completely, perhaps creating some sort of ceremony for each of these babies. Each of these experiences broke your heart a bit, and each represented the death of a dream. Spiritually, each of these was a loss, a death, and one that needs to be properly put to rest so that you have closure.

In the many years that I have been doing readings for people, miscarriage has often affected people's ability to complete things - it can become an impediment to bringing other things in life to completion and to fruition. I would suggest that you look to see if there are any things in your life that are unfinished, and that you seek to complete them to the best of your ability. Once you have done that, honor yourself, and allow yourself to feel worthy of receiving all that you desire.

Do not focus your mind and energy on complications, but again, relax and breathe. There are two births into the physical - the second occurs at the time of actually being born into this world, but the first occurs at the moment of conception when an aspect of the spirit enters the body. Breathe to allow your body to relax, to be at peace, to be in gratitude, and to open to receive more. You can always have more, as long as you allow yourself to feel grateful and fulfilled with all that you already have, and all that you are now.

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